he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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