I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
