GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
