mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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