Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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