I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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