to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
