i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
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