i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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