Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize