It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
