it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
