We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
why is half of my head shaved?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
