Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
