she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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