Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
