I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
