can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
