after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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