It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Randomize
