if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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