I got chris browned last night
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
