Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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