It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
