Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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