SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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