you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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