i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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