Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
