yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
