Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I am midnight drunk by noon
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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