You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
