I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
