You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
