The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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