dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
