Kareoke will never be a sober sport
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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