whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
