my vag is so smooth its legendary
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
