I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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