I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
