I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize