Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
