three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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