While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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