After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I have already put on my inside pants.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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