so that wasnt chicken after all
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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