I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You dont lie about slip and slides
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize