I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You're like the curious george of whores
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
