belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
