"it" just moved
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
