ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize