I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
