I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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