i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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