for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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