with your own penis?
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
is it fun? or sober?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
