Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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