isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Four minutes until I can fart!
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im part way to drunk.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize