I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
