I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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