you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
