Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
