so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
