he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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