So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
