Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
