she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
