She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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